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Will the Real NFL contendahs’ Please Rise…

December 25th, 2019 · No Comments

Typically, your El Senor Sportyblog Scribe Touchdown Tommy Doesn’t begin paying mild Attenzione to Football until after the Formula 1 season ends. As Y’all know what Formula 1 is, El Correctomundo?

Yet traveling to The Valley of The Sun for a rare visit this November, I was inundated with my first four weekly NFL Games during the season’s Week 11 matches, having forgotten ’bout Thursday Night Football when booking my Aeroplane ticket.

Although I elected to go to Beddy-bye’ at the end of the third Quarter of some Pittsburg Steelers vs. Cleveland Brownds game! Uhm, did Somme-thun’ happen with 8 seconds remaining?

Then began Sunday by watching in agony the Arizona Cardinals lose to the Dastardly 40Whiners’, BOO! And a riveting Sunday Night Drops Alot between Duh Bears vs. LA Rams. Which thankfully the Rams won 17-7.

Before another riveting NFL Monday Night Football game from Mexico City, which nobody seemed to want to win, since ESPN Announcer Booger McFarland said he’s had to make that walk to the Locker Room before, when noting the effects of the Thin Air, which Me Thinks was also circulating in the Commentary Booth!

Before the hobbled KC Chiefs Majik’ Man Patrick Mahomes Squad prevailed 24-17 over the Los Angeles Chargers, after “Old Man Rivers” threw four INT’s.

Thus prior to Week 13’s Turkey-Lurkey Festivities, with Not One, Not Two, but Three Freakin’ Football games to Round Out the riveting Dinner table conversations; Hut-Hut, Omaha!

Whilst Not even knowing that my Beloved Tennessee Titans, to which is always immediately followed by a loud chorus of WHO? Or Deafening laughter, still had a chance to win it’s AFC South Division, Huh?

Thus very Un-scientifically, of the National Football League 32 Franchises chasing Top Playoff positions, these Teams caught my Attention for the league’s 12 Playoff Berths, i.e.; Each Division Champion plus two Divisional Wildcard entries apiece.

In the National Football Conference, (NFC) those Dreaded Forty Whiners’, or as Randy’s just corrected Mwah, saying it’s pronounced FartyWhinerz! Err, the San Francisco 49ers stayed atop at 10-1, after that riveting Sunday Night Romp over the visiting Green Bay Packers 37-8, YAWN! Which dropped the Packers to 8-3, tied with the Minnesota Vikings (8-3) for which CBS Sports then gave the Vikings the NFC North Crown. While who cares ’bout Americres’ Team, Eh?

NFL Week 13 Playoff Predictions: Minnesota Steals NFC North from Packers. Dallas Hangs-on Over Eagles for NFC East

As the NFL Flexed its Musskles’ by Dumping the original Week 12 Sunday Night TV Broadcast of my Home-team Seattle Seahawks at Philadelphia, in favour of that Blowout in The Bay. As Seattle held off the Eagles to win 17-9 and move to 9-2 in their NFC West Division race against those FartyWhinerz’, whose lone loss to date was at the hands of Seattle 27-24 in OT at Levi Stadium; Yeah Baby!

While surely the NFL’s salivating over a potential NFC West Division Title Showdown between Seattle and San Fran’, when the 49ers travel to Seattle on Week 17. (December 29th)

While the NFC South currently sees Nawlins’, aka the New Orleans Saints Marchin’ On-to another Division Title, with a record of 9-2. With the Dallas Cowboys then leading the NFC East 6-5, one game ahead of Division rival Philadelphia at 5-6.

In the American Football Conference, (AFC) Thom Thumb, Uh, Tom Brady’s been crying Crocodile Tears ’bout hose royal Pain in thoust Keister Patriots were 10-1, and predicted to be the Conference’s Top Club overall at 14-2, as winners of the AFC East.

With New England’s lone Defeat, as of Week 12 being to the rival Baltimore Ravens, who were 9-2 following their rout of the LA Rams 45-6! With CBS Sports predicting Baltimore to finish 13-3 as Champions of the AFC North.

Whilst the AFC “Sleeper” Team has to be the Buffalo Bills, quietly gliding along at 8-3 prior to their Week 13 matchup vs. the Dallas Cowboys at Arlington Stadium on Turkey Day. Although the Bills have a tough remaining schedule, including an upcoming game vs. Baltimore. Not to mention it’s Week 16 Showdown vs. New England.

But Hey! How ’bout them Bills? Winning in Dallas on Thanksgiving, Defeating the Cowboys for the first time on Turkey-Lurkey Day since Uhm, Gulp! 1975?

Oops, think it was the Bills first appearance on Thanksgiving Day since ‘75 and first time to Defeat Dallas since 1992? But I’ll let Y’all look it up instead.

Meanwhile, the AFC’s South and West Divisions were led by the Houston Texans and Kansas City Chiefs respectively, both then with records of 7-4. With the Texans being chased by the Indianapolis Colts and Titans, both at 6-5 prior to their game at Lucas Oil Stadium Dec 1st.

And the Chiefs were just one game ahead of the Oakland Raiders, then 6-5, albeit I Don’t expect the Raiders to make the Playoffs, but what do I know?

Yet I’ve just got two words for the NFL, Fuck You! As I eagerly awaited listening to The Voice of The Seattle Seahawks Steve “Holy Catfish” Raible Bellow his signature “Touchdown Seahawks” for the Monday Night showdown at Der Clink’, nee Century Link Field vs. the Vikings via KIRO 97.3FM via the Internet, since naturally, I cannot “Tune In” Tacoma from Oregon on my ‘lil transistor radio.

Hell, I can barely tune-in Eugene, just an hour and a half away for multiple days at a time due to the persistently thick cloud cover, 100% Humidity or Uber Bright Sunshine; But I Digress…

But No! The Website continuously said We’re Sorry, It appears the Stream’s Not Available! As it was being Blocked Arse-sumedly’ due to being a nationally televised game? SHEISA!

Alas, I listened to the Anemic ESPN Talking Heads instead via my Telescreen, and got pretty annoyed with Booger repeatedly mentioning how it was Big Boys Time, every time somebody got near the end zone.., Uh Duh!

So way to go NFL! Thanks for Curbing my Appetite for your Football games! Although I did have to sit thru the final 2:38+ of the FartyWhinerz’ vs. N’walins’ game, which CRAP! The 49ers won a ridiculous 48-46 Shootout in New Orleans, and now sit atop the NFC at 11-2, taking the 1st Seed away from the Saints, who fall to No. 2 at 10-3, but have clinched the NFC South title.

Meanwhile, the Seahawks, who’d vaulted to the top of the NFC West last week with their victory over Minnesota, apparently fell flat upon their Keesters in La-La Land, for which I elected to listen to another CD Audiobook instead. Which appropriately is about Cornelius Vanderbilt, Americres’ first Tycoon, who grasped the concept of the Almighty Corporation, which the NFL should thank him for, Righto?

And now with the Hawks at 10-3, they presumably fall to the 5th Seed in the NFC Playoffs race; Aye Karumba!

Yet I still say that the Hawks will emerge victorious in week 17’s Showdown in Thee Jet City and Win the NFC West Division Crown over Uncle Sherm’, Jimmy Ghirbelli and San Fran!

Green Bay retakes it’s lead in the NFC North Division at 10-3, just one game ahead of Minnesota at 9-4. While won’t even discuss the absolutely pathetic NFC East’s Division Scrum.

Over towards thou Atlantic, the Baltimore Ravens continued Thar March Atop the AFC by Defeating Buffalo 24-17, whilst Boo Hoo, Poor Tommy Turd-riffic’ and his Pats lost to KC at Home! As the Ravens vault to the No. 1 Seed Overall at 11-2, and are the first to clinch a Playoff Berth in their Conference.

New England falls to 10-3. And Buffalo drops to 9-4, just one game behind the AFC East Division leading Patriots, but continues its grasp upon the first Wildcard Playoff seed. With Pittsburg, Houston and Tennessee, Yeah that’s right! My Titans are in the Hunt, with all three of those teams having 8-5 records.

Whilst the Texans and Titans have yet to play their two regular season games, which undoubtedly will decide who wins the AFC South Division! With Kansas City having won the AFC West Crown, now at 9-4…

Tags: Misc · NFL Football


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