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An Overly “Fair Weather” Football Fans Sidelines View from the Land ‘O 12s’

January 21st, 2019 · No Comments

As Where’s good ‘Ol Peyton “HUT-HUT, OMAHA!” Manning when Yuhs need him, eh?

Think I heard his voice briefly once during thou litany ‘O Commercials during the start of that Do-or-Die Indianapolis Colts v Tennessee Titans Sunday Night Season Finale, before madly scramblin’ to find thou MUTE button; Holding!

And I’m Not predicting this, as your El Senor Sportyblog Scribe Touchdown Tommy tinkles thou ivories whilst most of Yuhs are watchin’ Sunday’s Week 2 Playoffs B-I-G’ Football games, but I think it would be Hilarious to have an All L.A. Super Bowl! Although first Doc’ Rivers has got to vanquish Tommy Terrorific’, nee Tom JACKARSE Brady…

For which when I checked the score via telephone I said DAMN! As it was 41-14 in the 4th Quarter with those Dastardly Patriots Zapping thou Lightning Bolts…

As I’m personally rootin’ for the L.A. Rams vs. KC and it’s Magic Man Patrick Mahoney, making that pronouncement before Sunday’s Chargers-Patriots, Saints v Eagles games.

but Hey Sports Fans, this Dribble’s courtesy of someone who’s watched an entirety of two full NFL Football games this entire season, as guessin’ Yuhs could say I’ve gone 3 ‘N Out again.

As somehow I find the intricacies of, or is it plight? Of being an NFL Kicker more interesting than the actual game itself, but first I’ve got to get this riveting Sportyblog story Down-field far enough for a kick at those Uprights Eh?

Prior to this year’s Playoffs, I watched a total of one National Football League game, a Thursday Night contest no less, featuring the New Orleans Saints vs. those overly Annoying Kuh-Boyz’, nee Dallas Cowboys. As I’m so happy they’re eliminated from the Playoffs after Thar Showboating Ad Nausea during that game; but I digress…

As Snowbyrd MJ’, a longtime Saints Fan was visiting and it was a comedy ‘O errors trying to find the game, since my television settings had inadvertedly been set to turn selected channels into El Spanol Unbeknownst to Mwah; Ariva-Ariva-Ariva!

Since when the very amiable Spectrum/Charter TV Installer hooked up my television months before, he set it to Descriptive aid setting for the Blind and Visually Impaired, which apparently causes only selected channels, primarily HBO and Showtime to switch to Spanish, Ci!

Not knowing what channel Thursday Night Football was on? We madly scrambled whilst trying avoiding being Sacked! Towards pulling up a television channel guide and trying all of the unlikely places first. CBS Sports? Nope!

NFL Network? Oh Shit it’s in Spanish,! Although we’d have to sit thru five-plus minutes of Commercials in English before hearing the Play-by-Play in Spanish; Huh?

As we howled in laughter before finally finding thou game on FOX, as I recognized Troy “Vanilla” Aikman’s voice on Thy Telie’; CRIKEYS!

That was difficult, not to mention the Saints losing - as I only knew what channel FOX was since I’d needed to know for a University of Washington Football game previously. As I’d vacillated over watchin’ the Apple Cup, before listening to my CD Audiobook instead…

Funny how it’s only two weeks ago, but I cannot remember which came first? Duh Chicken or? Oh yeah it must have been the Colts v titans Sunday Night game. But somehow the laconic droning of Al Michaels and Cragginess ‘O Chris Collinsworth, along with my main man Marcus Mariota being Out again was too much to endure, as I only lasted a single set ‘O Downs before switching my television off in favour of my book instead.

Next, although I’d predicted during Christmas that I was pretty sure that Ohio State would Manhandle my revered DAWGS’ in the Rose Bowl. For which Jonathan enjoys calling the Stuffed Puppies. I was so certain that OSU would trounce UW I’d originally decided to not watch Duh Game, but relented as curiosity got the better of Mwah.

But sadly, I grew overly annoyed by ESPN showing a little Football between outlandish amounts of Commercials! Along with the two announcers sounding like they were calling a Golf Match and Viola! With the Huskies down 14-3 at the end of the 1st Quarter, Yuhs guessed it! I once again switched off in favour of the Ken Follett book I was avidly listening to!

Another Season Comes and Goes, as Pac 12 Struggles to Keep Up

Next, although I’d hoped to listen to “The Voice” of the Seahawks, Steve “TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS!” Raible, I’d not perused getting the Internetz’ Click Here/Continue screen figured out, so relied upon the FOX TB Broadcast instead.

as naturally they’d have Troy Aikman in the booth for the Seahawks vs. Cowboys Wildcard Playoff’s at Jerry’s House in Arlington, Texas.

And it’s funny since I’m really not a football Fan, but could come up with the analogy on my own that the Hawks had reverted to Ye ‘Ol Wayback Days of “Ground Chuck!” Run to the Left, run to the Right. Run up the Middle and then Punt!

As that’s what ‘Ol Chuck Knox had a penchant for doing, while it’s ironic that another former Seattle Head Coach, Tom Flores is being considered for Hall of Fame Honours this year.

And although I’m told that the Seahawks Offensive Coordinator Calls were the problem. How much fault should lay at “Mr. Excitement,” nee Pete Carroll’s Doorstep for not over riding Brian Schottenheimer’s Play Calling?

Growing so annoyed over the Seahawks inability to move the pigskin, once again I switched off prior to the end of the 1st Half and therefore missed seeing Steven Whats-his-Name? Err Stan Janakowski? Pull his Groin, Uhm Hamstring on a muffed 57yd Field Goal attempt - leaving the Seahawks without a Kicker the entire second half!

Yo Seattle, Yuhs get’s What Yuhs Paid for! As glad you let Stephen Hooska-Dooska! Hauska amble off to Buffalo in Free Agency, Righto?

And Speakin’ of Kickers, I had to laugh when checking the scores to read that, Whale’, actually listening via my NFB Newsline for The Blind telephone service, about Cody Parkey’s Heartbreak Bing-Bing-Bing, Ricochet Rabbit! Game losing 43yd Field Goal attempt, when the Eagles defeated Duh Bears 16-15.

As Kudos to the Goose Bay Brewery in thee Windy City for good naturedly challenging everybody who thought kicking field goals’ was easy! Challenging all takers to what I thought I heard originally was Free Beer for a Year? If anybody could make a 43yd Field Goal.

For which Thar were over 100 persons who took thou Challenge, going 0-for-101 Attempts! With the Brewery Donating $20,000 dollars to Charity.

Fans go 0 for 101 attempting Cody Parkey Challenge at Chicago brewery

But Hey! Even “The GOAT!” Nee “Greatest of All Time” Kicker’s Adam Vinatieri even misses. Apparently missing what was considered a Chip Shot during the Indianapolis Colts lost to the Kansas City Chiefs at a very Snowy Arrowhead Stadium.

As I even heard the Headline ’bout how somebody was having fun with Vinatieri’s WICKEDPedia’; Err Wikipedia page. Having substituted his picture with that of a Goat; Hya!

Missing Kicks in the Playoffs is Nothing New for Adam Vinatieri

Tags: Misc · NFL Football · College Football · Uncategorized


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