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Super Bowl, The Booty-ful’

February 9th, 2018 · No Comments

Let Freedom, Err Football Ring…

Ah, another season ‘O Americres’ Game’s Dusted ‘N Done; Yeehaw! As I found the following weather story relating to Pigskin’s Coldest Game ever, well timed for playing in “Mini Ha-Ha!” Err Minn-Uh-Sote-ah, Yah Sure Yuhs Betcha!

Yuhs know, in a different era, presumably before the advent ‘O Salary Cap’s et al. When Football players were just real honest-to-goodness Football players who didn’t give a Rat’s Patooey ’bout Thar Twitter Account Blowing U-P! Or what their social media was doing…

The day the quarterback’s cool head settled NFL’s coldest contest

As I’m not really sure what’s worse? How NBC devoted a total of 9.25hrs Sunday televising Super Bowl LII, Or that “Detroit’s Big-3,” aka General Motors, Ford and Chrysler, Uhm Fiat-Chrysler NV all deferred from running any advertisements during the game, for which reputedly a 30-second commercial spot cost a cool $5m, as in million this year!

Whale’, Otay, GM definitely didn’t do any super Bowl commercials, nor Ford, who instead opted to pull Fans around Minneapolis’s Downtown in Dumptruck-like Sleigh contractions with Thar Built Ford Tough PickemUp’ Trucks; Yeehaw!

whilst Fiat Chrysler once again ran another controversial advertisement extolling thou virtues of its Dodge Ram “tough” pickup trucks, this time having the late Dr. Martin Luther King being the Pitchman…

The NFL stood by African American players … until its money was threatened

Yeah, Y’all knew that was Uh-coming’, Righto? As the 2017-18 NFL season will forever be indelibly linked with Colin Kaepernick and thou wrath of some Stumblin’, Bumblin’ and definitely Fumblin’ White Man whose favourite form of social interaction is TWIT-ER!

As just think, Thars’ five hours ‘O Pre-game Hyperbole to bluster ’bout. Then four hours to play duh game, including some sappy Halftime entertainment, where rumour has it Justin Timberlake will have a Wardrobe Malfunction; Hut-Hut! And lastly, and I Don’t get it, but a whopping 15mins post-game wrap-up show…

While surely Roger The Mighty Good Ship; Err Goodell will be doing his usual soft shoe toe tappin’ back-pedaling Tap Dance… Especially now since he’s gotten his final-final contract extension signed, and instead can focus upon the issues of the game and it’s players instead…

Lure of Cash and Fame leaves Sport caught in Concussion’s Moral maze

Sheez! And I haven’t even spoken ’bout the game, Y’all know Puppy Bowl XIV, Wuf-Wuf! As this year’s Puppy Bowl, in the brand new bone Shaped Arena, once again featured Team Ruff vs. Team Fluff! Along with rescued Barn Animals as the Cheerleaders, including fluffy, adorable Bunny Wabbits!

Not to mention the return of the Puppy Bowl Blimp after a three year hiatus, being piloted by high flyin’ Hamsters! And a Cockatoo named Herman Tweeting the entire game; Botta-Boom, Botta-Bing!

Along with Americre’ the Beautiful being performed by a piano playin’ Chicken named Jokgu’ from America’s Got Talent; Cock-a-Doolittle-Do! As the lead announcer proclaimed while the NFL’s Tuh-Duh-duh intro theme musak played: Ready, Set, Drool!

Video: Jokgu of The Flocksters - Piano Playing Chicken

As seriously, I seem to take some small sort of pride in being one of the few Americans NOT Drooling the entire day long over some Bone-jarring Rockem-sockem’ paralyzing Foote ball, Hike-Hike Omaha!

Why NFL Protest still Matters

Tags: Misc · NFL Football

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