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The Twelve Days of Sports - 2013 Edition

December 21st, 2013 · No Comments

Otay Sports Fans, here’s my second attempt to turn that Yuletide classic 12-days of Christmas Carroll into something sports related, trying to find something relative towards some of the sports largest Stick ‘N Ball series major stories - in hopes of wishing Y’all Happy Holidays! And speakin’ of Carroll’s, how ‘bout that “Mister Excitement’s” (Pete Carroll) Seattle Seahawks, definitely Playoff bound! (again) Can Y’all say NFC West Division champions! Not to mention having the leagues best record; Hmm? It’s beginning to look a lot like Superbowl time, eh? But alas, Yuhs are all wondering ’bout that past riveting Sportyblog rendition of thee 12-days ‘O Sports posted right here on Sportybblog, right?

The Twelve Days of Sports

And following up that hit rendition is this year’s smash record’s recording of the Commishes favourite Yule Tide glee!

On the Twelfth Day of Sports Roger Goodell said to me;
Football, we DON’T need any STINKIN’ Fooh-Fooh Faux English style Football in Americre’ like that Namby-Pamby English Premiere League, as only Americre’ plays REAL Football here in ’tis great land ‘O thee…
Eleven losses in an NFL season will get you fired!
Ten feet away from the sidelines where the opposing team’s punt returner is trying to run up the sidelines is Mike Tomlin’s favourite place to be,
Vettel scoring Nine Wins in-a-row is pretty remarkable!
Eight wins in a season is one too many for Coach Sarc’ to stay a Husky!
Seven seconds left and Jason Kidd would like to give the world a Coke
Six is Jimmy Johnson’s favourite number,
Five Guys All Screaming for Kobe to pass the rock’
Four is the number used for forth down - or when the Referee so chooses to skip a previously called first down…
Three is thy number that Seattle Seahawks standout All Pro Quarterback Russell Wilson proudly sports upon his jersey!
Two torn ACL’s isn’t enough to stop America’s Skiing Sweetheart Lindsey Vonn
And One National Football League Playah’ indicted for Murder isn’t a very good way to start off the season…

And remember Y’all; Seven foot one inch Shaq can’t sing these Christmas carols any better than Sir Charles; Hya!

(1) Murder by Numbers indeed!
Isn’t it funny, Ha-Ha NOT! How not only did the New England Patriots distance themselves immediately but how the National Football League has pretty much swept the fact under the rug that former Patriots Tight End Aaron Hernandez was indicted for murder this past August, as it seemingly was a nasty, hate filled murder indeed! As Hernandez has been indicted of first degree murder in the death of 27yr old Semipro football player and friend Odin Lloyd along with five weapons counts regarding the 23yr old Hernandez apparently shooting Lloyd in cold blood because he didn’t like what he thought Lloyd had been saying about him behind his back…

Yet since being held without bail since late June, Hernandez’s name has now surfaced in an unsolved double murders shooting spree that occurred in 2012 and is allegedly tied to a vehicle that Hernandez rented, while another man has accused Hernandez of shooting him in the face previously…

(2) America’s Sweetheart returns…
Betcha Y’all thought I was talking ’bout Queen Danica (Patrick) right? Psyche! As I can’t say I’m a huge fan of Lindsey vonn’s, the current girlfriend of somebody known as Tiger, especially after that made for TV drama filled kissing her then husband en route to winning her gold medal at the 2010 Winter Olympics, or wherever it was; SPEW!

Nevertheless the four-time World Cup Downhill champion has been fraught with injuries lately, having re-injured her surgically repaired right knee during training for the fast approaching 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics which I’ll personally be banning thanks to Russia’s Homophobic stand, but I digress…

Thus back to Lindsey who went skiing for the first time this Thanksgiving weekend after nine days from when she re-injured her knee that’s kept her out of competition since thrashing it in a crash in Austria in February.

Yet Lindsey has decided to forgo further surgery in order to participate at Sochi as the determined Downhill skier then contested the race at Lake Louise in Alberta recently, starting off slowly by finishing an untypical 40th on day-one, but by week’s end had methodically advanced to a respectable 11th and now is firmly ensconced upon winning more medals in Russia this February…

(3) Seattle’s Superman!
Hey! What more can I say about Seattle Seahawks Superman STUD! Russell Wilson… I mean this previously unheralded 2012 NFL third round draft choice has now made “Mister Excitement’s” (Pete Carroll) cagey 12th pick of the third round, No. 75 overall choice the envy of the league!

As Wilson who the pundits & scouts considered too small to play successfully in the National Football League has simply defied logic, routinely is described on Seattle’s local radio broadcasts Play-by-Play announcer Steve “HOLY SMOKES!” Raible as being akin to Houdini with his magical disappearing acts upon the opposing teams defense and seemingly is the true number one selection out of the heralded “B-I-G 3!” Which the trio includes Indianapolis colts No. 1 overall selection Andrew Luck and the Washington Redskins No. 2 overall pick ‘RG3, aka Robert Griffin III who I think is riding the bench right now.

And the most unassuming ex-University of Wisconsin (Badgers) QB has just set two more amazing records this season, becoming the sport’s only NFL QB to ever win 23+ games in his first two seasons in the league. But even more impressive is Wilson’s becoming only the third ever player to score 50 (or more) touchdowns in this period of time with perennial Hall of Famers Dan Marino (68) and Peyton Manning (52) to do so previously! As Manning’s No. 2 ranking was well in reach of being beaten at the time of this writing…

Thus will Russell lead the Hawks to their first victorious Superbowl campaign? You make the call!

(4) Scalping the Ref…
Otay, so it’s easy to point out the never ending cases of buffoonery by those guys in the Zebra-striped Uni’s, i.e.; Referees, but, with the insane amount of money riding on each week’s games it’s easy to understand why we the fan are rightly so critical.

Take NFL Referee Jeff Triplette’s latest blunder - when he incorrectly awarded the Cincinnati Bengals a touchdown in the 4th quarter vs. the Indianapolis Colts after overruling the Colts defensive stop on fourth and one; Oops-uh-days!

Yet instead, by sheer luck I’d turned thy ‘Telie on momentarily to catch a ‘lil Sunday night pigskin and happened to see Triplette’s even more bizarre botched call when he incorrectly called a 4th-down on the Washington Redskins after the sideline Ref had mistakenly flipped the numbers and moved the chains after calling a 1st-down; Huh, who’s on first? As although I can’t stand Mike Shanahan, nevertheless I totally understand his displeasure with the referee’s as NBC’s Al Michaels repeatedly shrieked THEY GOT SCREWED!

Meanwhile, our most scorned NFL Ref in the Pacific Northwest - Bill Leavy was ironically calling the Seattle Seahawks-New York Giants game to which Steve Raible dryly quipped “He’s spending more time under the hood then a hiker on Mt Rainier;” Hya! As Leavy was once again underneath the instant replay booth’s hood on the sidelines to which Raible pined: “May be he’s got some hot chocolate under their…” As the game was taking place in the winter climes of New Jersey’s Metlife Stadium, site of this year’s forthcoming Superbowl.

Raible went ballistic when Leavy mistakenly called a 15-yard personal foul upon the Seahawks No. 67 when Seattle was on Defense, as the ex-Seahawks wide receiver correctly pointed out that there is NO number 67 on our defense before Leavy corrected his call, as it was somewhat akin to Deja Vu since he’d been the referee that ROBBED Seattle of a superbowl ring ‘Wayback in Twenty-oh-Five to which he’s since publicly admitted. Yet think Refs’ don’t get any respect? As I spent the whole game thinking wasn’t he the head coach of the Buffalo bills? Mark Levy, Bill Leavy, you say potato; Oh Never Mind!

Super Bowl XL referee regrets that mistakes ‘impacted the game’

(5) He’s Back!
Will never ever be a Kobe fan, as the National Basketball Association’s No. 4 All-time scorer has finally returned to the LA Lakers after an eight month recoupery from Achilles injury, and as typical, Kobe went straight back to lighting it up by scoring 21-points in the Lakers first ‘W since his return. Hmm? wonder if Kobe signed a two year contract extension so he could pay off that four million re-commitment ring he bought his wife…

(6) Jimmy closing in on history
Although not a fan of ‘RASSCAR, which apparently is America’s motorsport; Yeehaw - Racin’ is Rubbin’ Y’all hear! Yet I suppose I’d be somewhat remiss not to recognize the impressive feat that perennial NASCAR champion Jimmy Johnson has just accomplished, having won his sixth NASCAR crown which is one shy of the record jointly owned by two of the sport’s icons “the King” and thee “Intimidator,” also known as Richard Petty and the late Dale Earnhardt Sr.

And with Jimmy driving for the sport’s top team, Hendrick Motorsports, along with having one of the best crew chiefs in the paddock, it appears most likely that Johnson, age 38 will at least tie the record for most championship titles and conceivably break the record shortly…

(7) Giving the Lakers a Coke…
Although lots of wacky things happen in the world ‘O sports, I’ve never heard of a coach purposely spilling a soft drink upon the court in order to stop the game. Yet this is exactly what rookie Brooklyn Nets coach Jason Kidd did in the waning seconds of an NBA game vs. the LA Lakers who were then leading 96-94 with 8.3-seconds remaining. Yet ultimately Kidd’s stunt failed with LA winning 99-94.

Thus appropriately the National Basketball Association looked dimly upon Kidd’s tactics and promptly issued the first year coach a $50,000 fine! So remember Sports Fans, when Y’all hear that jingle during Christmas this year, proclaiming to give the world a Coke, just make sure you don’t spill it on anybody! As NO word on whether or not Kidd was trying to bring the injured Kobe a drink…

(8) Is 8 the new No. 9?
Number Nine, Number Nien, No. 9? As perhaps the number eight isn’t the way to go for devoted “DAWGS Fans, since my Tennessee Titans QB Jake Locker from the University of Washington sports the number (8) on his jersey, and unfortunately the verdict’s still out upon his NFL career.

Yet even worse yet was the shocking decision of the Huskies Head Coach Steve Sarkisian to vault back to his former “SoCal” alma matter where Coach Sarc’ had been “Mister Excitement’s” (Pete Carroll) Offensive Coordinator at USC along with stints as Quarterbacks Coach at USC and the Oakland Raiders.

as Sarc’ doubled-down salary-wise and ran off to the beleaguered Trojans head coaching Gig’ just days after finally getting over his seven games a season winning record hump by beating Washington State rival the Cougars in the Apple Bowl at the newly renovated ($280m) Husky Stadium, seeing the ‘DAWGS go 8-4 in regular season play, their best record since 2001…

(9) Vettel reigns Supreme
And since we’re “name dropping” here, I’ll let Y’all know that I’ve just seen “TWINKIEBOY” (Sebastian Vettel) for the second year in-a-row at Austin, Texas’s beautiful Circuit Of The Americas, where this year Seb’ was victorious, notching up his then eighth win in-a-row which one week later in Sao Paolo, Brazil he’d win again to tie the once untouchable record of Alberto Ascari’s nine wins in-a-row which the Italian set during the 1952-53 Formula 1 seasons.

Yet this precocious 26yr old German Wunderkind simply is redefining the sport’s record books having just become not only the third driver to ever win four consecutive world championships but the youngest to do so - as he now sets his sights upon tying another of his hero Michael Schumacher’s record by winning an unprecedented five in-a-row titles - which hopefully somebody else will stop his streak next year…

(10) What Sidelines?
Still can’t believe Dreaded Pittsburg Steelers Head Coach Mike Tomlin NOT being aware of where he was along the sidelines when interrupting his Thursday night opponent, the Baltimore Ravens during a third quarter kickoff return that could have been a touchdown if Jacoby Jones hadn’t rightly heeded to not bowling over the errant Tomlin during his scamper up the sidelines.

As I’d been rootin’ for Baltimore to beat Pittsburg, who still SUCK! On Thanksgiving night as we were trundling over hill and thru the woods back to Papa Bear’s confines to watch the final minutes of the games fourth quarter after attending a fine Thanksgiving feast.

thus like Jason Kidd’s stunt, this is another one I’ve never heard of and rightly so, the NFL threw multiple penalty flags upon Tomlin by promptly fining him $100,000 and potentially taking away a forthcoming Draft Pick which I hope the league follows thru on…

(11) Remember Kubiak!
Did Y’all get that? As isn’t there some ‘lil place called the Alamo down south in Houston? Yeehaw! As Y’all gotta feel a little bit sorry for the past embattled Head coach of the Houston Texans who was summarily fired upon the team’s 11th loss in-a-row, a 27-20 defeat to the lowly Jacksonville Jaguars to which one headline I saw before the game said you should be thankful for not having the NfL channel!

And I say feel a twinge “O sympathy for the Texans original Head Coach since Gary Kubiak, once an NFL Quarterback, most notably “Mr. Ed’s” (John Elway) backup at Denver has had an overly rough season this year, as recall his collapsing on-field when walking into the lockeroom during halftime of the Texans v Colts football game which resulted in is being hospitalized briefly which resulted in his diagnosis of having a mini stroke whilst Defensive Coordinator I’m Wade, NOT Bum Phillips took over the reins during Houston’s 27-24 loss.

Yet at least Kubiak has gotten the hook early as I’ve just read a story in the Arizona Republic (which naturally I cannot locate upon Zed Internetz) chronicling who this year’s crop of Head Coaches could be on the fast approaching Black Monday holiday list; Y’all know when Santa leaves NFL Head Coaches and General Managers with lumps of black coal in their stockings with a note to turn in their respective play books…

Gary Kubiak’s firing could be just first of many coming for NFL coaches

(12) Football is the King!
Yet even after all of the subterfuge of the Nation’s number one sport, ALL Hail Football! It seems a pretty bad state of affairs that Roger Goodell has probably been channeling Al Davis’s war cry this season: “Just Win, Baby!”

err, just keep the money rolling in as Y’all don’t need to know about that STUPID Aaron Hernandez, the cult of Bullying in our league, as it was just Richie Incognito doin I-T! And forget about it, I mean names such as Junior Seau or Jovan Belcher, not to mention having to pay those whiney washed-up out of work past football players nearly $800-million dollars ’cause they got a ‘lil roughed up and took some hits to the head; who do they think they are?

Trust me, there’s only a few rotten apples in our multi-billion a year business… Oops, did I say the word business? I meant National Football League. Now if we could just get them DAMN Refs to make the correct calls; hey, what are Y’all looking at? Now get back to those Fantasy football leagues Yuhs hear!

And this wraps up another season of wonderful stories scribbled by Touchdown Tommy at Sportyblog. Felice Navidad, Happy Holidays and Happy New Years Y’all!

Thank You for continuing to read this blog…

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