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Smack-down in Seattle…

December 12th, 2011 · No Comments

So it’s pretty funny how two longtime Seattleites were chawin’ at the bitz over two non Home team NFL Franchises… As Mi Madre is a longtime New Orleans Saints Fan - and ‘Dat’s PRE Superbowl Y’all! While you’re humble scribe for reasons best left unexplained… Hmm? Was it their uniform colours? Nah Ain’t ‘Dat; Oh Never Mind! Has been on the Tennessee Titans Bandwagon ever since Carry Collins led them to a 13-3 record. Having even been reminded when recently in Arizona that they’d even played in a Superbowl, to which all I could reply with was Huh?

Therefore as Game day approached, I couldn’t resist talkin’ a little Turkey, Err SMACK by advising the opposition that Drew Carrey? NOPE! Wrong Sport Buckwheat - He’s the minority owner of the Seattle Sounders FC… Uhm? I meant Drew “They-call-Me Duh” Breeze (Brees) had better watch out for the Winds-of-Change blowing from the ‘Hasslebok Express; Hya!

And all I can say after listening to three-quarters of my very first ever Titans Football game is ‘WOAH NELLIE! Which I like to believe was ‘Ol Keith Jackson - a longtime ABC College Football Announcer’s signature ‘Tagline; but I digress…

As I’d decided to actually ‘Tune-in to my Beloved Titans via the radio after discovering it would be the early game on Seattle’s AM950 (which will always be Golden Oldies KJR to Mwah; a Seattle legacy…) the night prior; yet as I was sending out more TRASH talk via email Sunday morning; Hmm? Its 10:27AM and still NO game on, WTF? OOPS! Suppose it helps if Yuhs tune the radio dial to the correct frequency, right? Thus tuning in Just-in-Time to hear the first Quarter end with New Orleans ahead 3-0.

Thus listening to the Announcers on the “Stevie Winwood” Radio Network; OOPS! Err, the Westwood 1 network I mused to myself: these guys are FUNNY! Especially when making sardonic remarks upon the sloppy Football being played - with six penalties apiece… As one Announcer said: what’s the record for most penalties in a game? To which his ‘Pardner retorted: Just open-up the Oakland Raiders media guide; Hoohah! (Cymbol crash please…) As we were on penalty #13 with 3:34 left in the second Quarter. OOPS! Make it #14 with another false start; as we’ve had five Offensive Linemen flagged for fouls so far…

Then the game just got Strange ‘N Stranger - as Hasselback’s Titans seemingly tried mimicking the ex-Seattle Seahawks propensity for meltdowns with a flurry of consecutive self-inflicted penalties. As Hasselback on only his second possession of the game saw it go from First-and-Fifteen to First & Twenty-five…

Then on an apparent catch ‘N pass play that netted an unexpected First-down; Yep, you guessed it! The play was called back for an apparent Clipping penalty against Tennessee. To which Hasselback argued to NO avail… And thus with it now being
First & Thirty-five; HOLY SEACHICKENS BATMAN!

Hasselback went for a ‘Hail Mary which was tipped and subsequently incomplete, yet ‘Ol Egghead Matt who was trying to prevent an Interception got crushed in the ensuing ‘Scrum and left the game on what was originally thought to be a ‘Bum Wheel, aka foot. Therefore forcing Titan’s No. 1 Draft pick Jake Locker, of University of Washington Huskies lore to attempt digging out the Titans with a Second & Thirty-five hole… Welcome to the National Football League Mr. Locker!

Yet on Tennessee’s next possession, Locker guided the team to their first scoring drive, a Field Goal which knotted up the game at 3-3, as we’d had a battle of the Kickers thus far, with two Field goals and five punts, before another ex-Seahawks player named John Kasey punched thru his second ‘Chip-shot to give the Saints a lead of 6-3 at Halftime.

And the chuckles from the booth kept-on-coming… As they brilliantly noted how there had been more penalties called vs. points scored! As it was Penalties Fifteen; Saints-Titans Nine… See, I told Yuhs they’re funny!

Then on Tennessee’s first possession of the second half; Chris ‘GIMMEE Johnson ran for a ‘Mega 9-yards, which nearly doubled his entire First-half output of 5-yards on five carries; YIKES!

But then Jake Locker decided to show CJ Who’s Boss by ripping off an ‘Eleven-yarder - which was the Titans longest rushing play to that point of the game, before once again Tennessee was forced to punt. And after another grueling 13-plus play possession grind by New Orleans, the Saints were forced to settle for Kasey’s third FG of the game, as the 21-year veteran put ‘Duh Breeze & Co. ahead - wait for it… 9-3!

Yet, former ‘DAWGS Standout Locker wasn’t content with going Three-and-Out and promptly marched the Titans down the field and after a Third-and-Ten which saw Damien Williams drug down by his Face mask on a 55yd catch ‘N run completion, took Tennessee to First-and-Goal on the ensuing Half-the-Distance Saints Defensive penalty. As Locker coolly extended his arm to pass the Endzone pylon - along with breaking the plane and henceforth scoring what I believe was his first rushing TD? As the Titans roared ahead 10-9…

And guess what? There were MORE penalties, as the funniest one was when not one, but two Saints were flagged on a later punt - with two separate fouls being called!

Yet, Drew Brees, as the announcers noted - it’s only a matter of time… You AREN’T gonna keep a Tom Brady down, a (“BIG”) Ben Roethlisberger or a healthy Payton Manning down; ‘Nor are you gonna keep Messer Brees down either.

As Drew led his ‘Nawlin Saints on two back-to-back scoring drives to give Coach Shawn Payton, who got tackled earlier in the season on the sidelines… Ahead 22-10, on 35-of-44 pass completions for 331-yards and two TD’s after ‘Nawlins failed to score on a two-point conversion attempt in the fourth Quarter with just under seven minutes remaining seemingly put the game outta reach.

As apparently the veteran QB didn’t like the notion of being upstaged by Matt Hasselback’s protégé Jake Locker!

But Locker wasn’t to be denied. Marching Tennessee right back down the field in three-plays for 65-yards in one-minute three seconds with the Titans going into their Hurry-up Offense with Locker throwing a TD! A forty-yard strike to Nate Washington to bring Tennessee back to a 22-17 score with just under five-plus minutes remaining… Would Mike “MUNSTER” Munchak go for the Onside Kick? (NO!) As Tennessee kicked it deep to ‘Nawlins instead.

But I did hear for certain that it was UW Alumni Locker’s first NFL touchdown pass. As on the ensuing Saints possession; on Third-and-four Brees got sacked and Tennessee took back over with 4:36 remaining.

Then Locker marches down field again before getting absolutely NAILED on a First Down and remains down on the field. Thus Matt Hasselback retapes his ankle, puts his cleats back-on and re-enters the game after having sat for a Quarter-plus on the Sidelines with an injured calf muscle; while the Titans trainers try seeing if Locker knows what Zip code he’s in?

Hasselback tosses a 9yd lob to Chris Johnson on First-down before Locker trots back Onfield; are you following all of this?

Then while driving, with some dubious Play-calling; Locker tries to pass on Third-and-one which is incomplete. After wasting a Timeout, Locker & Co come up short on a botched Fourth-and-One which the Announcers grimace to being a TERRIBLE spot! Thus turning the Pigskin over to ‘Nawlins with a scant 2:18 remaining…

Yet, New Orleans returns the favour and ultimately has to punt with One-minute and 30-plus seconds remaining… Yet once again another penalty… But even though it’s on the Titans Defense - it’s only of the five yarder flavor and the Saints Fourth-and-Sixth wouldn’t enable them to get the First-down yardage needed.

Then I start gleefully shoutin’ at the radio - GO TITANS! As Locker begins what apparently looks like an immaculate conception; Err, a miraculous final drive march to victory… As Oh Baby - looks like I’ll be singing When the Titans go Marching IN! Hee-hee-hee…

As Locker makes a 25-yard pick-up with 1:10 remaining. SPIKE IT! As Tennessee is now completely out of Timeout’s; BUT WTF? Chris Johnson gets stuffed on a running play instead. Then a beautiful Rainbow pass to Nate Johnson which takes the Titans to First-and-Goal on the five-yard line…

OH WHEN THE TITANS GO MARCHING IN!!!

And then it’s Second-and-goal… Before sadly, on Third-and-Goal the Saints give Tennessee a dose of its own medicine with a game saving Redzone Goaline stance - with five precious seconds remaining. As Locker tries vainly scrambling, the rookie QB is sacked and those DAMN Saints hold onto a Rollercoaster of a ‘W,” narrowly defeating the Titans 22-17 - as your humble scribe was totally exhausted by this Humdinger of a Football game!

As I know its only one game - which doesn’t make-or-break an NFL Quarterback’s career; BUTT! I feel quite certain that Messer ‘Hasslebok can see the sands in the Hourglass quickly diminishing on his time as the Titans starter; after all I do believe he’s the oldest active QB currently playing in the NFL. And with Locker’s poise, mobility and arm strength; uh, gee Wally! I’d say the Titans hunt for future signal caller looks so bright that they’ll need sunglasses - even in the DARK of winter!

And oh yeah, that’s before we even get to “Mister Excitement’s” (Pete Carroll) Seahawks going for a good ‘Ol Smack-down against NFC West Division rivals St Louis in ‘Der Clink (Century Link Field) Monday night…

Tags: NFL Football


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