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Stop The Presses, Colts QB Retires

September 13th, 2019 · No Comments

As surely; Hey, Don’t Call Me Shirley! Y’all have heard the News, Righto? Nope, Not that Duh Bears suck; Hya! Or that Jerry Paid some RB $90 Million Dollars! Along with is it some Pittsburg, Oakland or New England Wide Receiver’s Helmet apparently being too tight? And the Seahawks Stole some Football player from Houston…

Nah, instead I’m talking ’bout some Indianapolis Colts Quarterback named Andrew Luck announcing his Shocking Decision to Retire from the game of Football at the relatively young age of 29.As Y’all remember Dat’, Righto? Chirp-Chirp, Bueller?

Like Ain’t Thar some ‘lil ‘Ol Pigskin being tossed about right now? And everybody’s in pure Exaltation over another National Football League season commencing, Hut-Hut, Omaha!

Yet what I found most interesting ’bout this News Revelation that’s supposedly Rocked the Sports World some two weeks prior to the regular season beginning, was how I found out about it.

As I was watching the Saturday Nite’s Alright for Fightin’; Err Saturday Night IndyCar race from Madison, Illinoi (August 24th) on the 1.25 mile World Wide Technology Raceway’s bullring Oval-track, Huh?

And I found it to be a very poor Cross Promotion Trick when NBC Sports Network IndyCar’s lead announcer Leigh Diffey Broke in during the middle of the race with the News! Saying, we know a lot of Yuhs are Indianapolis 500 Fans and are sorry about Colts QB Luck’s Retirement; Blah-BLAHITY-blah…

And then immediately broke into a brief Promo for NBC being Your Home of Sunday Night Football; BARF! Duh-duh-Duh-Duh… Queue the Theme Musak’; GAG! Since we All know that NBC stands for Nothing But Commercials!

And a few Oregonian Quack-Quack (Ducks) Fans told me that the Ubiquitous, All knowing and Intrusive Scrolling Ticker spent the entire game saying nothing else besides Breaking News: Indianapolis Colts QB Andrew Luck Retires!

Indianapolis Colts Star Andrew Luck, Age 29 Retires in All-time NFL Shocker


Although according to Mr. Sporty’, these program intrusions were Not nearly as Disgusting as the NFL Network simply switching from the first half of the Seattle Seahawks v San Diego; Err LA Chargers Pre-season game to show the entire 30mins Press Conference before returning to the third quarter after All of the team’s Starters had been Pulled; Aye Karumba!

Then after the most Delightful outcome of that Saturday Night IndyCar race. Like Y’all have heard of Indy Cars, El Correctomundo? I eagerly awaited the Sunday evening’s Speed Freaks Motorsports Show, hoping they’d have the races winner Takuma Sato on? You know, the Dude who won the 2017 Indianapolis 500!

Typically I listen via Zed Internetz’, since Thars NO local Radio Station in Oregon carrying the Speed Freaks programme Live, and the lone Everett, Washington FOX Radio Station Delays it 2hrs, a la Arizona and other States; URGH!

Thus I typically Tune-in to Dallas’s the Fan 105.3FM somewheres’ in the Bottom of The Hour Stick ‘N Ball Sports Talk so I can catch the beginning of the Freaks Show, instead of the neutered six minutes Welcome to another round of Freakin’ Affiliates Sliced ‘N Diced version.

With The Freaks being preceded by CBS Sports Radio Host Sean Pendergast, presumably who’s of No relation to that mighty Murder Mystery Detective Aloysius Pendergast, Eh?

And the funniest part of Pendergast’s Show, which naturally centered round Andrew Luck was his playing the Bizarre Rant by “The Juice,” or as Sean sez’, he simply calls himself “Yours Truly” these days.

Being the rant he played of O.J. Simpson complaining over how Luck had just Screwed his Fantasy Football League, having just Drafted him minutes prior to Luck’s retirement announcement!

As Sean noted if I was in a Fantasy Football League with O.J. and he called me up and said I wanted X, Y, Z players and I’m trading Andrew Luck to Yuhs, he’d gladly agree…

O.J. Simpson’s reaction to Andrew Luck’s Retirement is A Must See!


Meanwhile, what I Hate about Football the most is, that every year this time, the Speed Freaks programme I’d rather listen to Sunday Nights instead of Friggin’ Gory Football! Gets taken off of The Fan, as I heard Sean saying his last show of the season would be Labour Day weekend; SHIT!

Which means if I decide to? Although last Fall I simply went on a Winter’s Hibernation from the Speed Freaks Show, since they’re almost Non-existent during Football season, SIGH!

I’ll either have to Beat my Brains out trying to get some Scratchy, Uber Delayed Tin Can Internet version of The Freaks the next six Bloody Months or just wait until racing season begins after the Stupour-Duper-Bowl, Groan!

Like why wouldn’t Yuhs Sports Fans wanna listen to enjoyable interviews like this, when Takuma Sato joined The Freaks? Since everybody loves Indy Cars and Takuma, especially The Freaks 5yr old Daughter…

Takuma Sato on Redemption, Reaction & Replays

→ No CommentsTags: Misc · NFL Football · Uncategorized

Move Over Cody Parkey…

August 24th, 2019 · No Comments

You say Parkay, Butter? Parkey, Lloyd? Sometimes Yuhs Feel like A Nut? Butterfingers…

As Good Thingy’ this Women’s World Cup Footballer wasn’t able to attend last year’s Cody Parkey Field Goal Challenge in The Windy City, Eh?

Yo Sports Fans, You’ve probably already heard ’bout Femme Fatale Carli Lloyd routinely Drilling 40-yard Field Goals after lacing up her Boots when attending a Philadelphia Eagles practice session recently.

As the 37yr old former U.S. National Womens Team Midfielder, part of the 2008 & 2012 Winning World Cup Squads, reportedly a longtime Philly’ Fan, who was attending a Pre-season Practice session, just for Fun decided to Walk On with her Cleats and have a try, to find out what All the Fuss is over Making Field Goals?

After warming up with a bunch of 40 yard Boots, Carli nailed a 55-yarder’ straight ‘N true, right down the middle of the Uprights, which has prompted much conjecture over how the Chicago Bears should give her a tryout!

As Y’all remember the plight of the aforementioned Cody Parkey, El Correctomundo? As why not have a Female Place Kicker in the NFL? Oh Never Mind…

World Cup Winner Carli Lloyd Nails 55-yarder at NFL Practice session

→ No CommentsTags: Misc · NFL Football

Mirage Appears over Seattle’s Sporting landscape…

July 11th, 2019 · No Comments

As previously mentioned, here’s that long awaited story Y’all have been Holdin’ your Breaths for… Breathe, you’re turnin’ Blue, and it Ain’t even Seahawks Blue Thursday yet; Hya!

And with Thee 1st Pick Overall, Sportyblog’s El Senor Scribe Touchdown Tommy Selects, Uhm? Y’all do still remember this year’s National Football League’s Draft, Righto?

And without further Adu, Drum-roll please,



Yusei Kikuchi

HA-HA! Betcha Y’all Didn’t See that 95mph Fastball Ah-Coming, Eh? Especially since we’re All Ah-wash’ in where those Hugely Overpaid National Basketball Association All Star Playahs’ will land? Like Yuhs know Kevin Durant, whom I’m still pretty certain was the former Seattle Super Sonics final Draft Pick.

But I’m trying to focus upon those Boys ‘O Summer right now, a la Baseball, since I think it’s almost time for Major League Baseball’s All Star game, for which I’m also pretty certain once again, our lowly Seattle Mariners are without representation; Sigh.

As Kikuchi is my new Numero Uno Seattle Mariners Baseball Player, since they traded my previous No. 1 Pick, Thee Big Maple’ to those Dastardly Yankees; BASTARDOES!

Which I suppose makes my choice even more Karmic since it was the anniversary of ex-Seattle Mariners pitcher James Paxton’s No Hitter when Major League Baseball rookie Kikuchi flirted with his own No Hitter in The Big Apple! With the Mariners crushing New York 10 to Somme-thun’ ruther when I began scribblin’ this Sportyblog story.

Rookie Pitcher Stifles Yankees

Yet it hasn’t been All Sunshine ‘N Rainbows for Yusei, since the last time I paid any Attenzione to him was when watching my second MLB Baseball game of the year, when Snowbyrd MJ’ was in town a few weeks ago. As think it was vs. the lowly Kansas City Royals?Yet Kikuchi immediately got into trouble in the first inning, albeit his team-mates didn’t help him any, first dropping a sure out, and then when the Catcher missed the Tag at Thee Plate, as Yusei was sweating profusely after falling behind 2-0.

Then Snowbyrd MJ’ told me Kikuchi had just hung his head in a low bow ‘O Disgust upon removing his Ball-cap after having a Home Run Hit off him giving KC a 6-0 lead Me Thinks? Before we elected to turn off Thy Telie’.

Meanwhile it’s even older News that arguably one of the Mariners Greatest ever Players mostly known simply as Ichiro has finally retired from playing the sport he so loved, after making two final appearances in his Home Country during Seattle’s exhibition games, where ironically, Kikuchi was making his Major League Debut.

Ichiro Suzuki to be Instructor to Mariners, Tacoma Rattlers after Retiring

As I find it Uber Hilarious that I know the answer to my own Ichiro Suzuki Trivia Questione, while another Family member who’s always right, is actually wrong over claiming that Ichiro has won a World Series!Since I’ve maintained for years, even though he requested being traded to New York to play for a Contendah’. The Yankees never made it to the World Series during his brief tenure between 2012-14 in NYC.

With their only American League Playoffs during this period coming in 2012 when losing the series to the Detroit Tigers.

As it’s extremely Funny to Mwah since I’m not only Not a “Stick ‘N Ball” Fan, but I also absolutely abhorrer Baseball! Which is almost as exciting as watching; Err for Mwah, listening to Paint Dry!

Yet certainly Ichiro will be selected to the Baseball Hall of Fame on his very first Ballot, and presumably will enter the Hall as a Seattle Mariner.

Now if only the Muh-Nuers’ could snap the Sport’s longest losing Streak. As Seattle currently hold the record for the four Heavies’, nee Professional Sports, aka the NFL, NBA, MLB and National Hockey League Franchise longest Playoffs Drought, which Seattle will presumably extend another year to 17 by season’s end; CRIKEYS!

While lastly, it was Good ‘Ol John, “Not Bo Duke!” Schneider of the Seattle Seahawks initially giving me the impetus for this Stumblin’, Fumblin’ ‘N Bumblin’ Sportyblog tome. When listening to some riveting Sports News via my NFB Newsline for The Blind Telephone service.

As I chuckled over somebody writing how Schneider was probably having Night Sweats over the fear of initially having only four Draft Picks in this year’s selection entering the week prior to the Draft, before he got the Ball rollin’ by trading Frank Clark to KC, which netted Seattle another Pick, upping Thar any to five, Pre-Draft.

As Seattle wound-up with a robust 11 Draft Picks after Schneider Wheeled ‘N Dealed a multitude of Dance Moves of Trading Down to acquire more picks that would make ‘Ol “Trader Bob” (Whitsitt) of past Seahawks lore plumb Proud!

Meet the 2019 Seahawks Draft Class

Since before Y’all know it, it’ll be time for the NFL’s Pre-season, whilst I didn’t even scribble nothin’ about Seattle’s other Football team, the Sounders FC whom re-acquired Jovan Jones from Germany in some of their early season roster moves.Or that the Seattle Sea Walls won Thar second consecutive Professional Rugby Championship; Ooh, Ooh, Who Let The Dawgs’ Out?

RUf-RUF! Now Somebody Pass Me a Cheeseburger as Good ‘Ol Stevie Gee-Tar’ Miller would say. Preferably a Dick’s Drive-in Cheeseburger; Hya!

→ No CommentsTags: Rugby · soccer · Misc · NFL Football · MLB Baseball

Summer beginning to sizzle?

June 28th, 2019 · No Comments

OOH! AH! Look at the Purdy Sparklers…

Yeah, once again your El Senor Sportyblog Scribe Touchdown Tommy’s Dropped the Ball, and is still running long ‘N Deep, down a Dark Alley; Hya!

Alas, once again I simply haven’t had time to poond’ aways on Thee ‘Ol Confuzer’s Keyboard with any witty repartee for Y’all. As Cry me a River, Eh? Having been entertaining a litany ‘O guests the past month.

And now that Uber Annoying BOOM-MOOM, BARF! Fourth ‘O July Holiday’s right round thou corner.

As it’s been several years now since I visited the Center of Ye Universe’, which certainly Y’all know is situated in the Heart of Ballard Warshingtons’ Freemont, El Correctomundo?

AUTOS: Zany Art Cars invade Republic of Freemont’s annual Summer Solstice Faire…

And if Y’all didn’t know, my “Day Job” consists of primarily poondin’ Zed Keyboard away with riveting yarns ‘O Automotive lore, albeit No Fake News Thar Mateys! With this No Fenders tome celebrating you know what, Righto?

Red, White, Green and Defiantly Bleu


As once again, our Loveable, Huggable, Squeezable Buffoon in thoust White House has been busy making plenty ‘O his own Fireworks, by merrily Tweeting away.Uhm, what’s that Mr. President? Oh? You’ve Tweeted your Angst against the wrong person once again? Tsk-Tsk Donald. As I believe her name is actually speeld Rapinoe… Although you speel Kentucy’, I say Kentucky. Shame on Me, Fool you Once? Oh Never Mind!

As how Dare a Minority or Woman voice an Opinion Different then yours, Righto? As Megan’s such a Horrible person… Uhm Gulp, although suppose it’s a good thingy she was playing in the Women’s World Cup match vs. Spain, since after all, didn’t she score the winning goal?

Trump Slams Rapinoe for saying She Won’t attend Fucking Whitehouse for Winning World Cup


lthough I’m guessing that France will wish to have something to say ’bout USA-USA-USA! Going All the way to the Finals and winning this year’s Women’s World Cup, Eh?As this song’s for you Donald, since the Red’s really are les Bleus’ And Nah, that song Ain’t being sung by your Bosom Buddy, the Great Gasbag LindBlah. As take it away Geddy!

VIDEO: RUSH - Red Lenses Song

→ No CommentsTags: soccer · Racing · Misc · Uncategorized

English Woebegones’

May 23rd, 2019 · No Comments

Nope, this Ain’t No story ’bout Man U’, Football Fans; Hya! Although I do think I heard somewheres’ recently that Manchester United just won Thar second Namby-Pamby Premiere Football Championship, el Correctomundo?

OOPSADAISY! Butterfingers! You say Manchester City, I say Man U’, since obviously I Don’t follow those Blokes playing in thoust English Premiere Football League.

Manchester City Wins Premiere League Title again on Final Day as Liverpool Falls short

Nah, instead this is another riveting Sports story closer to El Senor sportyblog Scribe Touchdown Tommy’s Heart.

As I’d originally hoped to have finished scribblin’ about some of Seattle’s shifting Sports landscape, but instead have decided to move thou story’s rotation after just witnessing one of the Biggest Upsets in Sports!

Since although I’m not a golf Fan, and definitely Not a Fan ‘O Tiger’s, nonetheless he’s somewhat the impetus for this story. As I thought of how the entire Mainstream Media went Ah-Gaga-Ga over what they’ve called the Greatest Comeback in Sports History; SPEW!

MILLER: Sorry tiger, these are The Real Comeback Stories

Nope instead, I’m far more intrigued over what simply has to be the Biggest Upset in the last twenty-plus years at what’s called The Greatest Spectacle in Motor Racing. Indy Cars Mack Daddy Super Bowl event, Thee Indianapolis 500, now in its 103rd storied running!

As thankfully, Thar wasn’t some prodigious Golfer in the White House proclaiming “We’re Full Folks!” Go Home, there’s No room for Yuhs Here! And has now just proclaimed that He’s Kept More Promises than He’s Made; But I Digress…

As it seems somewhat fitting that Argentinean Ricardo Juncos, who reputedly only had $400.00 in his pocket when immigrating to America, that he borrowed from his Grandmother when coming to Miami, has just slayed Arguably One of the Biggest Names in International Motorsports!

As Messer Juncos has come a long way since making his Debut as an IndyCar Team Owner just two years ago.., after having first won a Mega’ 19 Karting (Go Karts) Championships, three Indy Pro 2000 titles and two Indy Lights Crowns, the final rung on the ladder to Indy Cars.

VIDEO: Racer’s Robin Miller with Ricardo Juncos

Trying to put this somewhat into context, Juncos Racing operates on a Shoestring Budget, and has been unable yet to secure the necessary sponsorship Dinero to campaign a Full IndyCar season to date.

Having Debuted at Mother Speedway’, nee Indianapolis Motor Speedway in 2017 with two cars, last year aided by the prize money their Driver Kyle Kiser won by winning the Indy Lights Championship, the team piece-mealed together a partial season with three Drivers racing, including Kiser making his Rookie Debut at the Speedway.

Fast forwarding to this year, one of International Motor Racing’s most prestigious outfits, now known simply as the McLaren F1 Team, based in Bloody ‘Ol Woking, Surrey in thou United Kingdom - ultimately wishing to widen its North American Footprint to sell its wares, since they also make luxury cars. Decided to return to the Brickyard to race in this year’s Indianapolis 500 with former Two-times F1 World Champion Fernando Alonso.

As McLaren’s pedigree is impeccable, having won the vaunted Formula 1 Constructors Titles eight times, (1974, 1984-85, 1988-91, 1998) which is the Teams Championship that pays prize money in several hundred millions each year. Along with winning a staggering total of twelve F1 Drivers Titles. (1974, 1976, 1984-86, 1988-91, 1998-99, 2008)

Also having amassed 182 Wins and 155 Pole positions since beginning competition in Formula 1 in 1966. Ranking second Overall behind only the legendary Prancing Horse, aka Scuderia Ferrari, who’ve been contesting the F1 Championship since its inception in 1950.

Cutting to the Chase, although both Alonso and Kiser Crashed during Indy 500 practice, both Demolishing their Racecars. It was Juncos extra-ordinary Super Human efforts of rebuilding a Spare, disassembled Racecar by working for 42hrs Straight! That enabled the Tiny One Car effort to contest the Last Row Shootout Sunday morning, albeit also helped significantly by the 4.5 hours Rain Delay!

The Story of Kiser and Juncos is One for The Ages

As all Fernando Alonso could do after making his lone Qualifying run Sunday, as the six cars contesting for the race’s final three starting spots, each with a single qualifying attempt, akin to Single Match elimination, was to forlornly watch as Kyle Kiser bested Alonso’s speed by a miniscule fraction of 0.019mph over four laps totaling 10-miles distance, with an average speed of 227.372mph!

MILLER: Was this Really A Surprise?

As I’m still on Cloud Nine some three days after Kiser’s amazing Drive to simply Qualify 33rd and last for this Memorial Day weekend’s classic Indianapolis 500. Which for Mwah, the race will be Hard Pressed to outdo the Drama of this Last Row Shootout, especially since I’ve read there’s a 50% chance of Rain for Sunday’s race.

But then again, typically the Indy 500’s the IndyCar series Best Race of the Year, which is why I’ll “Tune-In,”
even if Queen Danica’ (Patrick) is now part of the NBC Television Broadcast Crew…

“Lady & Gentlemen, Start Your Engines!”

→ No CommentsTags: Formula One Racing · Indy Car Racing · Racing · Misc · Nascar · Uncategorized

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