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Mirage Appears over Seattle’s Sporting landscape…

July 11th, 2019 · No Comments

As previously mentioned, here’s that long awaited story Y’all have been Holdin’ your Breaths for… Breathe, you’re turnin’ Blue, and it Ain’t even Seahawks Blue Thursday yet; Hya!

And with Thee 1st Pick Overall, Sportyblog’s El Senor Scribe Touchdown Tommy Selects, Uhm? Y’all do still remember this year’s National Football League’s Draft, Righto?

And without further Adu, Drum-roll please,

Tuh-Duh!

STEEE-RIKE!

Yusei Kikuchi

HA-HA! Betcha Y’all Didn’t See that 95mph Fastball Ah-Coming, Eh? Especially since we’re All Ah-wash’ in where those Hugely Overpaid National Basketball Association All Star Playahs’ will land? Like Yuhs know Kevin Durant, whom I’m still pretty certain was the former Seattle Super Sonics final Draft Pick.

But I’m trying to focus upon those Boys ‘O Summer right now, a la Baseball, since I think it’s almost time for Major League Baseball’s All Star game, for which I’m also pretty certain once again, our lowly Seattle Mariners are without representation; Sigh.

As Kikuchi is my new Numero Uno Seattle Mariners Baseball Player, since they traded my previous No. 1 Pick, Thee Big Maple’ to those Dastardly Yankees; BASTARDOES!

Which I suppose makes my choice even more Karmic since it was the anniversary of ex-Seattle Mariners pitcher James Paxton’s No Hitter when Major League Baseball rookie Kikuchi flirted with his own No Hitter in The Big Apple! With the Mariners crushing New York 10 to Somme-thun’ ruther when I began scribblin’ this Sportyblog story.

Rookie Pitcher Stifles Yankees

Yet it hasn’t been All Sunshine ‘N Rainbows for Yusei, since the last time I paid any Attenzione to him was when watching my second MLB Baseball game of the year, when Snowbyrd MJ’ was in town a few weeks ago. As think it was vs. the lowly Kansas City Royals?Yet Kikuchi immediately got into trouble in the first inning, albeit his team-mates didn’t help him any, first dropping a sure out, and then when the Catcher missed the Tag at Thee Plate, as Yusei was sweating profusely after falling behind 2-0.

Then Snowbyrd MJ’ told me Kikuchi had just hung his head in a low bow ‘O Disgust upon removing his Ball-cap after having a Home Run Hit off him giving KC a 6-0 lead Me Thinks? Before we elected to turn off Thy Telie’.

Meanwhile it’s even older News that arguably one of the Mariners Greatest ever Players mostly known simply as Ichiro has finally retired from playing the sport he so loved, after making two final appearances in his Home Country during Seattle’s exhibition games, where ironically, Kikuchi was making his Major League Debut.

Ichiro Suzuki to be Instructor to Mariners, Tacoma Rattlers after Retiring

As I find it Uber Hilarious that I know the answer to my own Ichiro Suzuki Trivia Questione, while another Family member who’s always right, is actually wrong over claiming that Ichiro has won a World Series!Since I’ve maintained for years, even though he requested being traded to New York to play for a Contendah’. The Yankees never made it to the World Series during his brief tenure between 2012-14 in NYC.

With their only American League Playoffs during this period coming in 2012 when losing the series to the Detroit Tigers.

As it’s extremely Funny to Mwah since I’m not only Not a “Stick ‘N Ball” Fan, but I also absolutely abhorrer Baseball! Which is almost as exciting as watching; Err for Mwah, listening to Paint Dry!

Yet certainly Ichiro will be selected to the Baseball Hall of Fame on his very first Ballot, and presumably will enter the Hall as a Seattle Mariner.

Now if only the Muh-Nuers’ could snap the Sport’s longest losing Streak. As Seattle currently hold the record for the four Heavies’, nee Professional Sports, aka the NFL, NBA, MLB and National Hockey League Franchise longest Playoffs Drought, which Seattle will presumably extend another year to 17 by season’s end; CRIKEYS!

While lastly, it was Good ‘Ol John, “Not Bo Duke!” Schneider of the Seattle Seahawks initially giving me the impetus for this Stumblin’, Fumblin’ ‘N Bumblin’ Sportyblog tome. When listening to some riveting Sports News via my NFB Newsline for The Blind Telephone service.

As I chuckled over somebody writing how Schneider was probably having Night Sweats over the fear of initially having only four Draft Picks in this year’s selection entering the week prior to the Draft, before he got the Ball rollin’ by trading Frank Clark to KC, which netted Seattle another Pick, upping Thar any to five, Pre-Draft.

As Seattle wound-up with a robust 11 Draft Picks after Schneider Wheeled ‘N Dealed a multitude of Dance Moves of Trading Down to acquire more picks that would make ‘Ol “Trader Bob” (Whitsitt) of past Seahawks lore plumb Proud!

Meet the 2019 Seahawks Draft Class

Since before Y’all know it, it’ll be time for the NFL’s Pre-season, whilst I didn’t even scribble nothin’ about Seattle’s other Football team, the Sounders FC whom re-acquired Jovan Jones from Germany in some of their early season roster moves.Or that the Seattle Sea Walls won Thar second consecutive Professional Rugby Championship; Ooh, Ooh, Who Let The Dawgs’ Out?

RUf-RUF! Now Somebody Pass Me a Cheeseburger as Good ‘Ol Stevie Gee-Tar’ Miller would say. Preferably a Dick’s Drive-in Cheeseburger; Hya!

→ No CommentsTags: Rugby · soccer · Misc · NFL Football · MLB Baseball

Summer beginning to sizzle?

June 28th, 2019 · No Comments

OOH! AH! Look at the Purdy Sparklers…

Yeah, once again your El Senor Sportyblog Scribe Touchdown Tommy’s Dropped the Ball, and is still running long ‘N Deep, down a Dark Alley; Hya!

Alas, once again I simply haven’t had time to poond’ aways on Thee ‘Ol Confuzer’s Keyboard with any witty repartee for Y’all. As Cry me a River, Eh? Having been entertaining a litany ‘O guests the past month.

And now that Uber Annoying BOOM-MOOM, BARF! Fourth ‘O July Holiday’s right round thou corner.

As it’s been several years now since I visited the Center of Ye Universe’, which certainly Y’all know is situated in the Heart of Ballard Warshingtons’ Freemont, El Correctomundo?

AUTOS: Zany Art Cars invade Republic of Freemont’s annual Summer Solstice Faire…

And if Y’all didn’t know, my “Day Job” consists of primarily poondin’ Zed Keyboard away with riveting yarns ‘O Automotive lore, albeit No Fake News Thar Mateys! With this No Fenders tome celebrating you know what, Righto?

Red, White, Green and Defiantly Bleu

 

As once again, our Loveable, Huggable, Squeezable Buffoon in thoust White House has been busy making plenty ‘O his own Fireworks, by merrily Tweeting away.Uhm, what’s that Mr. President? Oh? You’ve Tweeted your Angst against the wrong person once again? Tsk-Tsk Donald. As I believe her name is actually speeld Rapinoe… Although you speel Kentucy’, I say Kentucky. Shame on Me, Fool you Once? Oh Never Mind!

As how Dare a Minority or Woman voice an Opinion Different then yours, Righto? As Megan’s such a Horrible person… Uhm Gulp, although suppose it’s a good thingy she was playing in the Women’s World Cup match vs. Spain, since after all, didn’t she score the winning goal?

Trump Slams Rapinoe for saying She Won’t attend Fucking Whitehouse for Winning World Cup

A

lthough I’m guessing that France will wish to have something to say ’bout USA-USA-USA! Going All the way to the Finals and winning this year’s Women’s World Cup, Eh?As this song’s for you Donald, since the Red’s really are les Bleus’ And Nah, that song Ain’t being sung by your Bosom Buddy, the Great Gasbag LindBlah. As take it away Geddy!

VIDEO: RUSH - Red Lenses Song

→ No CommentsTags: soccer · Racing · Misc · Uncategorized

English Woebegones’

May 23rd, 2019 · No Comments

Nope, this Ain’t No story ’bout Man U’, Football Fans; Hya! Although I do think I heard somewheres’ recently that Manchester United just won Thar second Namby-Pamby Premiere Football Championship, el Correctomundo?

OOPSADAISY! Butterfingers! You say Manchester City, I say Man U’, since obviously I Don’t follow those Blokes playing in thoust English Premiere Football League.

Manchester City Wins Premiere League Title again on Final Day as Liverpool Falls short

Nah, instead this is another riveting Sports story closer to El Senor sportyblog Scribe Touchdown Tommy’s Heart.

As I’d originally hoped to have finished scribblin’ about some of Seattle’s shifting Sports landscape, but instead have decided to move thou story’s rotation after just witnessing one of the Biggest Upsets in Sports!

Since although I’m not a golf Fan, and definitely Not a Fan ‘O Tiger’s, nonetheless he’s somewhat the impetus for this story. As I thought of how the entire Mainstream Media went Ah-Gaga-Ga over what they’ve called the Greatest Comeback in Sports History; SPEW!

MILLER: Sorry tiger, these are The Real Comeback Stories

Nope instead, I’m far more intrigued over what simply has to be the Biggest Upset in the last twenty-plus years at what’s called The Greatest Spectacle in Motor Racing. Indy Cars Mack Daddy Super Bowl event, Thee Indianapolis 500, now in its 103rd storied running!

As thankfully, Thar wasn’t some prodigious Golfer in the White House proclaiming “We’re Full Folks!” Go Home, there’s No room for Yuhs Here! And has now just proclaimed that He’s Kept More Promises than He’s Made; But I Digress…

As it seems somewhat fitting that Argentinean Ricardo Juncos, who reputedly only had $400.00 in his pocket when immigrating to America, that he borrowed from his Grandmother when coming to Miami, has just slayed Arguably One of the Biggest Names in International Motorsports!

As Messer Juncos has come a long way since making his Debut as an IndyCar Team Owner just two years ago.., after having first won a Mega’ 19 Karting (Go Karts) Championships, three Indy Pro 2000 titles and two Indy Lights Crowns, the final rung on the ladder to Indy Cars.

VIDEO: Racer’s Robin Miller with Ricardo Juncos

Trying to put this somewhat into context, Juncos Racing operates on a Shoestring Budget, and has been unable yet to secure the necessary sponsorship Dinero to campaign a Full IndyCar season to date.

Having Debuted at Mother Speedway’, nee Indianapolis Motor Speedway in 2017 with two cars, last year aided by the prize money their Driver Kyle Kiser won by winning the Indy Lights Championship, the team piece-mealed together a partial season with three Drivers racing, including Kiser making his Rookie Debut at the Speedway.

Fast forwarding to this year, one of International Motor Racing’s most prestigious outfits, now known simply as the McLaren F1 Team, based in Bloody ‘Ol Woking, Surrey in thou United Kingdom - ultimately wishing to widen its North American Footprint to sell its wares, since they also make luxury cars. Decided to return to the Brickyard to race in this year’s Indianapolis 500 with former Two-times F1 World Champion Fernando Alonso.

As McLaren’s pedigree is impeccable, having won the vaunted Formula 1 Constructors Titles eight times, (1974, 1984-85, 1988-91, 1998) which is the Teams Championship that pays prize money in several hundred millions each year. Along with winning a staggering total of twelve F1 Drivers Titles. (1974, 1976, 1984-86, 1988-91, 1998-99, 2008)

Also having amassed 182 Wins and 155 Pole positions since beginning competition in Formula 1 in 1966. Ranking second Overall behind only the legendary Prancing Horse, aka Scuderia Ferrari, who’ve been contesting the F1 Championship since its inception in 1950.

Cutting to the Chase, although both Alonso and Kiser Crashed during Indy 500 practice, both Demolishing their Racecars. It was Juncos extra-ordinary Super Human efforts of rebuilding a Spare, disassembled Racecar by working for 42hrs Straight! That enabled the Tiny One Car effort to contest the Last Row Shootout Sunday morning, albeit also helped significantly by the 4.5 hours Rain Delay!

The Story of Kiser and Juncos is One for The Ages

As all Fernando Alonso could do after making his lone Qualifying run Sunday, as the six cars contesting for the race’s final three starting spots, each with a single qualifying attempt, akin to Single Match elimination, was to forlornly watch as Kyle Kiser bested Alonso’s speed by a miniscule fraction of 0.019mph over four laps totaling 10-miles distance, with an average speed of 227.372mph!

MILLER: Was this Really A Surprise?

As I’m still on Cloud Nine some three days after Kiser’s amazing Drive to simply Qualify 33rd and last for this Memorial Day weekend’s classic Indianapolis 500. Which for Mwah, the race will be Hard Pressed to outdo the Drama of this Last Row Shootout, especially since I’ve read there’s a 50% chance of Rain for Sunday’s race.

But then again, typically the Indy 500’s the IndyCar series Best Race of the Year, which is why I’ll “Tune-In,”
even if Queen Danica’ (Patrick) is now part of the NBC Television Broadcast Crew…

“Lady & Gentlemen, Start Your Engines!”

→ No CommentsTags: Formula One Racing · Indy Car Racing · Racing · Misc · Nascar · Uncategorized

Trumping The Easter bunny…

April 19th, 2019 · No Comments

Is it over Thar? Nope, may be it’s over Thar? Uhm, may be behind that log? Down that Hill or over that Sand Dune?

So what does our GURR-REAT President and the Easter Bunny have in common? Well they’re both really good at laying eggs! Although I’m pretty sure that the Easter Bunny’s trying to make it not too Hard to find his…

FOUR!

Whilst Bravo Donald! You’ve simply managed to outdo yourself this time. Oopsadaisy, Butterfingers! Better take a Mulligan on that one Mr. President!

What’s that? You’ve already used your Mulligan on the first Hole? And now you cannot find your Balls? Uhm, aren’t you playing with a No. 1 titlist? And how many Golf Club Championships did you say you’ve won again? Uhm, Mr. President, haven’t you heard of Pinocchio?

And did you really call two Ticky Tack Fouls against a 15yr old Teenager you were playing for one of your perceived Golfing Tourney’ Titles? And then after mocking said teenager, ended up losing to him on the second Shootout Hole?

Commander in Chief: Donald Trump’s 18 Golf Tournament Wins Examined

Or perhaps after Y’all have finished biting the ears off those Chocolate Bunnies, Mmmm-Mmmm, Sprinkles… you’ll wanna relive the time when Thee Donald was just a Punk’ in “Jawsey City” and trying to acquire an NFL Franchise on the Cheap, when he was the owner of the New Jersey Generals…

When the long forgotten USFL New Jersey Generals Owner was jus A Punk’

Since isn’t the Nat’l Football Leagues Draft just round the corner? And which teams will be laying rotten eggs with their Draft Picks?

Hey look over Thar Mr. President, isn’t that your Golf Ball? Right there. Nope, it’s an Easter Egg, Uhm I love Easter Eggs, and Bunnies!

Bon Appétit!

→ No CommentsTags: Golf · Misc · NFL Football · Uncategorized

Has Seattle Finally Solved it’s Kicking Woes?

March 26th, 2019 · No Comments

Ahoy Sports Fans, it’s me El Senor Sportyblog Scribe Touchdown Tommy once again, having Dropped thou proverbial Ball; Butterfingers!

As let’s see, what excuse haven’t I used lately? Thee Dog Ate My Story? Uhm, that Bright Thingy’ in the Sky got’s in my Eyes and Made Me, Uhm Shank thou Story to the right; Oh Never Mind!

As I’ve just spent the past Six Days in a virtual RaceAthon’, My own “March Madness,” which I just thought of when hearing another of that Lame Arse “It’s Kia Madness, Baby!” commercial for a local Kuh-Kuh-Kuh-Kia Dealership…

as “Real” Motor Racing, nee NOT RASSCAR’ has begun in earnest. Having partaken the IndyCar season opener at St Pete March 10th. Followed by Super Sebring Sports Car Weekend March 15-16, with the 1,000 miles or 8hrs, whichever comes first FIA World Endurance Championship the day before IMSA’s 67th running of the iconic 12 Hours of Sebring.

Whilst thou Nightcap to this three nights in-a-row was taking place Down Under Mates, in Bloody OZ’, in Melbourne where Formula 1 was ensconced in the season opening Australian Grand Prix!

Crikeys Mates! Yuhs didn’t think I was gonna skip Prattlin’ on ’bout some Auto Racing Did Yuhs? But see how that works? As I actually paid miniscule Attenzione to Dick Dudley’s uh-Kuh-Kuh-Kia commercial for Kiefer Kia in Oregon, Baby!

Racing Nirvana: 12 Announcers, Four Series, 24 Hours and Six Days…

But back to our regular programming, Eh? As Many Moons ago, Hey, did Y’all S-E-E the latest “Super Moon” occurring on the first Day ‘O Spring, March 20th? As the Vernal equinox is on the 20th this year apparently, All Yuhs Weather Hoonds; Hya!

AnyHoo, Wayback when I heard that that incorrigible NFL Kicker Cody Bing-Bing-Bing, Ricochet Rabbit!” Parkey,Parquay? Butter! Was being let go by Duh Bearz’, I immediately thought, Oh? Perhaps the Seahawks should snap him up!

Bears Officially Cut Cody Parkey

Since even though I Don’t Follow Football very closely anymores’, Did somebody say S’Mores? Hya! Nevertheless, I’m still Mad at Seattle for giving Stephen Hooska-Dooska’ Hauschka the Boot!

Having opted for Thee Blair Witch Project instead, the Hawks followed up with signing Stan-the-Man Janacowski, or was it Stan Getz? Well, Stan gotz’ a pulled muskle’ in the Hawks final game last year, leaving Seattle without a Kicker; YOWCH!

Yet it’s somewhat Funny, Ha-Ha? That Seattle’s now on its third Pro Bowl Kicker in the last three seasons. (
Blair Walsh: 2012, Sebastian Janikowski: 2011 and Jason Myers: 2018)

Whilst Messer Parkey’s also a former Pro Bowl selection. So what does that say ’bout the Pro Bowl?

And did I read that right? As think the Seattle Post Intelligencer’s article claims that the Seahawks newest Kicker Jason Myers contract is for $15.45m, as in Millions over four years, which is certainly more than Seattle Baulked Over paying Hauschka before he departed to Buffalo!

Seahawks Sign Pro Bowl Kicker Jason Myers to Multi-year Deal

Alas, now that Seattle’s apparently solved it’s Place Kicker issues, I suppose we can return to making fun of Parkey’s misfortunes? Although like the Chicago Brew Pub’s Cody Parkey Challenge proved. When 101 contestants missed making a similar distance Field Goal as Parkey’s Double Bouncer in the Playoffs…

Just think of how many hundreds, or more likely thousands? Attempt to become Starting National Football League Place Kickers. Which means Parkey can’t be all that Bad, being one of only 32 players making the cut! And obviously the NY Jets now have an opening. Then again, Cody could always try the Pat McAfee Show Biz’ route, Righto?

→ No CommentsTags: Formula One Racing · Indy Car Racing · Misc · Nascar · NFL Football · Uncategorized


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